MOST COUPLES IN MY PRACTICE approach week three with confidence and enthusiasm because they have achieved success in the program. They've changed some of their attitudes about sex as well as their behavior. Now they are beginning to see themselves as creative lovers, capable of sustaining a passionate connection. They are better able to arouse and satisfy each other. Their sex lives are more exciting and orgasmic. They are making love more often, a goal of nearly everyone who has come into my office since I began practicing. And they finally realize that "no time" is no excuse for not having sex.

In the third week, most couples can put it all together. They have learned new oral and manual lovemaking skills. They have been using sex toys: for some couples, this is new and different experience. They've tried new intercourse positions. If they had performance problems or other issues, they have made progress toward resolving them. Now they are ready to have the most exciting and innovative sex they've ever had.

But, some couples, specifically those who entered the program with performance and orgasm problems, may feel as though they're just beginning to make progress by the end of week three. The first week and maybe part of the second were devoted to making each other comfortable with sensual and sexual expression. For them, repeating the entire 21-Day Passion Fix Program or repeating one or two weeks will also give them the opportunity to pull everything together.

Turning Up the Heat

In week three, you and your partner will have more intense Fantasy and Provocative Encounters. You'll continue to expand and improve the manual and oral techniques you've learned. And you'll be more creative in using sex toys and adapting intercourse positions.

Fantasy Encounter

Make this Fantasy Encounter as imaginative and thrilling as you can. By now, you and your partner are skilled at using fantasy to create desire and stimulate arousal in advance of Provocative Encounters. You can talk more easily about sexual scenarios and exchange ideas without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. Two weeks ago, you may have been too shy or guarded to suggest certain sexual practices, even in fantasy. Now you are bolder.

Design this Fantasy Encounter around erotic situations that seemed too threatening when you began the program. You might, for example, explore themes of dominance and submission, anal sex, making love in public places, or other "taboos." At this point in the program, fantasy exploration should feel safe to you and your partner because neither of you feels compelled to act out these fantasies. You both understand that the power of the Fantasy is mental, not physical enactment. Let your erotic minds run wild.

Provocative Encounters

As in week two, all three Provocative Encounters, each at east ten minutes long, must include kissing and manual and oral stimulation. All three Encounters should also include a Quickie intercourse position and the use of one sex toy. Again, no repeat events. That proviso encourages you and your partner to be imaginative in sex toy play and devising variations on intercourse positions.

This week try some of the more challenging Quickie positions. Remember: You can do anything for ten minutes. If you don't like a position, you never have to do it again.

And this week incorporate your Provocative Encounters into those real-life "opportunities" that you didn't consider as "time for sex" in the past. For example, schedule a Quickie in the ten minutes before you have to leave the house to make the train for work or attend a dinner party. Plan sex in the kitchen while you're cooking dinner, or in the bathroom during those ten minutes you know the kids are glued to the television set watching Barney.

Some couples tell me that they "cheat" on the "rules" for Provocative Encounters during week three and continue making love for longer than ten minutes. There's nothing wrong with that. I also encourage them to consider the time constraint as a vehicle for creating sexual urgency. Not every Encounter has to stop at ten minutes. But knowing that you have just that much time to arouse and satisfy each other makes the sexual relationship feel young, intense, and desperately important again. After two weeks in the program, you will both have changed your sexual attitudes and behavior enough to be open to the prospect of a good erotic encounter in atypical settings and in ten minutes.

Remember when you wanted each other so badly but couldn't act on your sexual desire? Provocative Encounters take you back there in a way nothing else can do. Everyone wants to experience that sizzling time again.

What to Expect from Week Three

Desire and arousal will be even higher than in week two. Women who have seldom reached orgasm during intercourse will likely do so in at least one of their Provocative Encounters this week. Men will gain greater confidence in their ability to satisfy their partners. That confidence will allay their fears about sustaining erections or ejaculating too soon.

As couples achieve success in meeting their goals, they also have more fun in planning the Fantasy and Provocative Encounters. They become more playful. It's not unusual for a client to say, "We never laughed during lovemaking before we started this program." And, although the Encounters are planned in advance, they also feel more spontaneous because the partners have learned how to shift positions or activities quickly when something isn't working out. The brevity of the Encounters has an energizing effect on every couple.

Many couples who began the program using low-stimulation Fantasy and Provocative Encounters are ready to turn up the heat considerably in week three. They have overcome their inhibitions and fears about lovemaking. Their physical and emotional responses to each other's kisses and caresses often touch them more deeply than they had anticipated.

Some Quickie Position Suggestions for Week Three

The Chair Position.
Use a wide chair, without arms if possible. He sits in the chair. Facing him, she straddles him. He can penetrate her deeply in this position, which is satisfying for both of them. When they’re facing each other, they’re also in a very intimate position. But they can turn it around if she straddles him, facing away. In this version of the chair position, he can put his arms around her and use his hand to stimulate her clitoris.

The Pelvic Tilt.
The key to this position is body alignment. Her pelvis needs to be approximately one foot lower than his. Find a place conducive to this alignment, such as the bed, a desk, a countertop, even the hood of a car. She lies back. He stands in front of her. She lifts her legs and rests her feet on his shoulders, tilting her pelvis upward. Her back and pelvis form a straight line up to his pelvis. He puts his hands under her hips to hold her at this angle while he thrusts. This pelvic tilt provides G spot stimulation during intercourse for her.